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Message: [QUOTE="Santa, post: 3700132, member: 11237"] [B]New Zealand Warriors[/B] I have no idea what's going on in this picture... [ATTACH type="full"]31371[/ATTACH] The New Zealand Warriors—rugby league’s ultimate heartbreakers and the NRL’s longest-running comedy act. If suffering was a sport, they’d have more premierships than the Melbourne Storm. Every season, their fans get sucked into the same delusional fantasy: *“This is our year!”* And every season, by mid-year, they’re already pretending rugby doesn’t exist and switching their attention to *whatever the hell Kiwis do for fun*. Sheep herding? Worshipping the All Blacks? Drinking themselves into oblivion to forget they ever supported this club? Honestly, watching the Warriors is like watching someone try to build a house out of wet cardboard. Some weeks, it looks like it might hold together, and then, boom—another collapse. One week, they’ll destroy a top-four team like they’ve finally figured out the sport. The next, they’ll be dropping the ball like they’re allergic to possession and making the Dragons look like a premiership side. If inconsistency was a business, the Warriors would be Amazon. And recruitment? Pure comedy. This club signs players like a guy at 3 AM trying to pick the best takeaway option—panicked, confused, and always ending up with something terrible. They spend millions on washed-up Aussies who are looking for an easy paycheck, while their best young Kiwi talent runs off to play for *actual* title-contending teams. They had Reuben Garrick and let him go. Meanwhile, they once signed a bloke named Kane Evans *just for his big arms*. I wish that was a joke. But even when they *do* get good players, they somehow manage to ruin them. The Warriors are where talented halves go to forget how to play. They could sign prime Joey Johns and somehow turn him into a worse version of Luke Brooks. Shaun Johnson finally had a career resurgence, but that’s after spending years playing like he’d rather be anywhere else. Their junior development system? It’s basically a free farm for the Roosters and Storm. New Zealand grows some of the best footy talent in the world—just not for the Warriors. Defensively, they’re softer than a pavlova left in the rain. You could put a team of accountants in jerseys, and they’d probably still punch holes through the Warriors’ line. This is a club that can turn a 20-point lead into a 12-point loss faster than a Kiwi can say *“bro, we were robbed.”* They defend like they’ve just met each other in the car park before kickoff. If there was an Olympic event for *blowing comfortable leads*, New Zealand would finally get a gold medal in something other than rowing. And then there’s Mt Smart Stadium—the most misleadingly named venue in world sport. It’s not a fortress. It’s a tourist attraction where opposition teams come to collect free competition points. The Warriors could be playing against a team of cardboard cutouts, and they’d still struggle to win at home. The fans turn up week after week, hoping for something different, only to watch their team fold like a cheap deck chair in a Wellington windstorm. But the funniest part of all? The eternal, blind optimism. Every single year, the Warriors trick their fans into thinking *this is the one*. A few lucky wins, a couple of hype videos, and suddenly, Kiwis start acting like they’re about to take over the NRL. And then, as always, reality comes crashing down. The injuries pile up, the coach starts making decisions that should be classified as war crimes, and the team nosedives straight into the bottom half of the ladder. Supporting the Warriors is like dating someone who cheats on you every year, yet you still believe *this time* will be different. They’re the ultimate sporting tragedy—a team that will never, ever win anything but will always have fans convinced their time is coming. But don’t worry, New Zealand—*this is your year*. Just like it was last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. [/QUOTE]

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