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Message: [QUOTE="Santa, post: 3700397, member: 11237"] [B]The Newcastle Knights[/B] [ATTACH type="full"]31415[/ATTACH] The Newcastle Knights are the NRL’s answer to a malfunctioning GPS—constantly "recalculating" but never actually getting anywhere. Every season starts with talk of a "new era," but by Round 10, they’re already clinging to the bottom half of the ladder like a desperate punter chasing his losses. Their game plan is basically just "pass it to Ponga and pray," and when he’s not concussed, injured, or switching positions for the hundredth time, he’s surrounded by teammates who look like they learned the game from a YouTube tutorial. Any team looking to end a try-scoring drought just needs to schedule a game against Newcastle, because their defensive line is about as intimidating as a picket fence in a hurricane. They’ve got props who get dominated by wingers, edge defenders who might as well be cardboard cutouts, and a fullback who’s usually too busy adjusting his headgear to organize his line. And their recruitment? Oh, it’s world-class… if the world you’re talking about is a retirement village. They have an uncanny ability to overpay for underwhelming talent, turning journeymen into million-dollar liabilities faster than you can say "cap mismanagement." It’s like they scout players by throwing darts at a list of "available but unwanted" options. They let go of quality players like Dane Gagai in his prime but will happily throw a bag of cash at the next washed-up ex-Bronco looking for a holiday in the Hunter. Finals? Please. The only thing the Knights have mastered in September is Mad Monday. If they somehow stumble into the playoffs, you already know they’re getting bounced in the first round while looking as lost as their halves do on a fifth-tackle option. Even when they fluke a decent season, they implode the moment anyone mentions the word "expectations." And the fans—oh, the poor fans. Absolute battlers. Sticking by this club should qualify as a form of community service. They don’t just deserve loyalty rewards; they deserve financial compensation and free therapy sessions. There should be a medal, or at the very least a government grant, for enduring the weekly emotional torment of supporting the Knights. The only reason their home crowds stay decent is because Newcastle doesn’t have much else going on, and even then, most people are just there for the beer. Then there’s the elephant in the room—Andrew Johns. The man, the myth, the only reason this club has any history worth mentioning. The Knights have been clinging to Joey’s legacy like a lifeline for nearly two decades, rolling him out every chance they get to remind people that, yes, they were once relevant. But even Johns himself looks like he’s aged 20 years from watching this team fumble around like they’ve never seen a rugby ball before. The sad truth? If it weren’t for him, Newcastle would just be the Wests Tigers in a different postcode. [/QUOTE]

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