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ChatGPT roasting the NRL
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[QUOTE="Santa, post: 3701116, member: 11237"] [B]Sydney Roosters[/B] [ATTACH type="full"]31484[/ATTACH] Ah, the Sydney Roosters—rugby league’s equivalent of a trust fund kid. Everything handed to them, never had to struggle, and still walking around acting like they built something from scratch. While other teams scrape by with salary cap scraps, the Roosters somehow manage to assemble an all-star squad every year, all while keeping a straight face and telling us “the books balance.” Mate, their accountant must have a Hogwarts degree, because there’s more magic in those contracts than in a Harry Potter movie. Let’s talk about the fanbase—or lack of one. The Roosters have won three premierships in the last decade, yet their home crowds still look like a library at midnight. You could fire a cannon through Allianz Stadium most weeks and only hit a couple of confused tourists who thought they were at the tennis. Even their own supporters know the deal—if they lose, nobody cares; if they win, nobody remembers. The NRL could fold them tomorrow and the only people who’d notice are the accountants at Bondi trying to hide those third-party deals. And then there’s their recruitment strategy: just buy everyone. Salary cap? Never heard of it. While other clubs are forced to actually develop talent, the Roosters operate like a rugby league Monopoly board. You’ve got a rising star at another club? Congratulations, Uncle Nick has already booked him a penthouse in Bondi. Other teams spend years building a squad; the Roosters just open a checkbook and ask their cap auditor to look the other way. They’re the only club where a million-dollar signing is just a Tuesday afternoon. Trent Robinson gets hyped as a “master coach,” but let’s be real—anyone could win with the squads he’s been given. This bloke has had more rep players at his disposal than an Origin team, and still somehow managed to miss the finals in 2023. Imagine crashing a Ferrari into a ditch and still being called a great driver. That’s Robinson. If he had to coach the Dragons or the Tigers, he’d be out of the game in two years. And then there’s their so-called “culture.” Every time they win, we get some nonsense about the “Roosters way,” like they’ve unlocked the secret formula to rugby league. What’s the Roosters way? Having the richest owner in the comp, dodging the salary cap auditor, and recruiting their way out of every problem? If that’s culture, then a billionaire buying a Michelin-star meal counts as cooking. Even their “rivalries” are fake. They claim to hate Souths, but let’s be honest—Souths fans spend every waking moment thinking about the Roosters, while Roosters fans spend every waking moment forgetting that Souths exist. The so-called rivalry with the Bulldogs in the 2000s? Dead. The feud with the Storm? Melbourne already has a real rival, and it’s called the salary cap police. At the end of the day, the Roosters are just the NRL’s default setting. They exist, they win sometimes, and no one outside their members-only corporate suite actually cares. If they folded tomorrow, the only people who’d cry are the player managers who’d have to start working for a living. [/QUOTE]
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ChatGPT roasting the NRL
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